FAQ/en

Frequently Asked Questions

I think my boss is a narcissist. How should I deal with this?

The term narcissist in psychiatry refers to a DSM personality disorder. However, such a diagnosis says little about a person’s individuality or how he/she functions in an organization. Within the framework of Context Thinking, a simpler explanation often applies: the manager is likely low-contextual.

Low-contextual thinking

Many managers who are perceived as "narcissistic" are in fact low-contextual.

• They think strongly in first-degree relations: if A, then B.
• This has advantages for a company: goal orientation, efficiency, clear decisions.
• At the same time, it has limitations: less sense of nuance, less perspective-taking, and a higher chance of misunderstandings in human relationships.

Coping mechanisms

A boss often develops coping strategies to deal with complex situations.

• He/she is usually unaware that these strategies mainly solve short-term problems but can be harmful to the team climate in the long run.
• Examples: excessive checking, avoiding emotional conversations, or making authoritarian decisions to compensate for insecurity

What does this mean for you?

• The behavior does not necessarily stem from "malice" or a personality disorder, but can be understood as a thinking style with both strengths and weaknesses.
• The label "narcissist" can be stigmatizing and sometimes obscures the real dynamics of context sensitivity.

Practical advice

• Communicate concretely and clearly. Avoid implicit hints or vague suggestions; explain what you mean.
• Acknowledge the strengths. Point out your boss’s efficiency or result orientation; this builds trust.
• Protect your own boundaries. Don’t get drawn into excessive caretaking.
• Add context where possible. Introduce nuance in conversations, offer alternative perspectives, and do this calmly and factually.
• Seek support. Discuss situations with colleagues or a trusted advisor, so you don’t get overburdened yourself.

Conclusion

Not every difficult boss is a "narcissist". More often it’s a case of low-contextual thinking: strong in clarity and action, but vulnerable to tunnel vision and relational misunderstandings. Understanding this allows you to align better, set more realistic expectations, and work together more constructively.

People with autism don’t lie, do they?

Many people see honesty as a typical feature of autism. It is true that people with autism often communicate literally and directly, but that doesn’t mean they never hide or adapt the truth. What matters is understanding why they do it.

Context blindness and truth

Autism is often associated with context blindness — difficulty in grasping situations within their broader context. While others spontaneously take into account subtle cues (the right nuance, the right timing), a person with autism tends to focus mainly on factual accuracy or immediate outcomes.

• For them, “truth” is something concrete — what is literally seen or thought.
• As a result, statements that are factually correct may be socially inappropriate.
• Conversely, withholding or adjusting information may feel like a way to maintain peace, not necessarily as deceit.

Transactional and egocentric thinking

When a person with autism “lies”, it is often not out of malicious manipulation, but rather as a form of transactional behavior or egocentric thinking. The behavior can have a manipulative effect — it influences how others respond — but the underlying intent is usually practical or protective, not calculated.

Casus

Een kind met autisme zegt niet tegen zijn vader dat de buurman agressief was. Het denkt: “Als ik dat zeg, mag ik niet meer bij de buren spelen.” Het kind manipuleert de informatie om een onmiddellijke behoefte te beschermen: rust bewaren en contact behouden (transactioneel handelen). Op langere termijn veroorzaakt dit echter andere problemen: de vader kan het kind minder vertrouwen, en een incident bij de buren had voorkomen kunnen worden als de waarheid bekend was.

Is dat dan liegen?

Liegen veronderstelt een intentie om te misleiden én inzicht in de gevolgen daarvan. Bij mensen met autisme ontbreekt vaak dat tweede luik: ze overzien de bredere context en toekomstige gevolgen minder goed. Het gedrag is dus eerder een gevolg van beperkte contextintegratie dan van morele onwil of gebrek aan eerlijkheid.

Wat helpt in communicatie

• Stel verduidelijkende vragen in plaats van te oordelen.
• Geef expliciet aan waarom waarheid of openheid belangrijk is in die situatie.
• Benoem gevolgen op korte én lange termijn, zodat de context zichtbaar wordt.
• Erken dat “waarheid” verschillende lagen heeft — feitelijk, sociaal en emotioneel.

Conclusie

Mensen met autisme kunnen de waarheid soms bewust aanpassen om een gewenste reactie uit te lokken of spanning te vermijden — dat is in zekere zin manipulatie, maar niet van het berekende of kwaadwillige type. Het is een korte-termijnstrategie die voortkomt uit beperkt contextueel inzicht en de behoefte om orde of voorspelbaarheid te behouden. Door dit te begrijpen, kunnen misverstanden verminderd en vertrouwen hersteld worden.